Some additional thoughts...

I was going to ask what you are craving? And does it really satisfy you? I have to echo annie with the myfitnesspal. I am not using it right now, but I guess it is two years ago when I took that serious step, I started using it. It really helped me to have a veggie packed salad with a tomato basil dressing at lunch. Where do you live? I am lucky that there is a STeve's pizza in Woodland, so when I started, and now when I need to get back on track, I head there for lunch. It used to be 3.23 for a togo salad and I would pack on so many veggies. The TB dressing has 20-30 calories and is tasty. I know that a salad of this caliber would cost 15 buckeroonies if it were weighed at a 7.99 a pound place. But actually it probably wouldn't because I am not choosing the heavier toppings, but I digress. I too drink the Visalus in the morning. I find it is more affordable and healthier than picking up a bagel, or a scone, which is what i always did with my morning routine. I was a creature of habit... I would get a coffee and a rice crispy treat every morning. Ugh, can't even think about it now. But if I have a shake (I don't get fancy with it, I just mix it with apple/grape 100% juice blend) and I think it starts my day off good. Maybe I am kidding myself and it is just another habitual food option, but I it works for me. I buy them on Amazon, because I couldn't handle the shipping costs through Visalus. If you don't mind, I have shared so much that I am going to copy and paste this to a blog myself, so everyone can read it. Haha, I thought it this was a longer post. I must have been thinking a mile a minute

Today I say thank you

So, I have to say, that having you all as a support has really helped me. I shifted gears and have been more active. Actually, a lot more active. I am resting today because my knee is bothering me, but I am not going to give into the fear of injury. I am eating less processed foods right now (thank you Annie and your awesome trader joes run). and a big THANK YOU to Gaby and Annie for our amazing hike in Saturday. I felt alive!!!! We did such an amazing job. And I have run... let me count... one, two, three times, been going to both vinyasa and vin yoga and walking on my breaks. I can't weigh myself because the battery on my scale went out, but I can feel it. Literally. When I run my hands up my side (especially laying down, haha) I can feel it. We are all so strong. A big THANK YOU!!!

Well, I don't really know what to say. I am heavier than I have been in months and I am not basically not trying at all with this competition. It is definitely going to be hard to catch up. I am glad to read and support others, but I need to get in the game. It just isn't fair sometimes that I have to exercise sooooo much just to keep from gaining on a regular basis. The idea of eating even less and working out even more is, ugh! I am fearful of injury so I don't want to run or do something high impact, but I think I am going to have to.

Cant stop the tears

Some days just hurt. Some days being strong just doesn't feel like an option. Working for people, giving everything i have inside to touch them and ease their suffering is a beautiful job..... but hurts so darn hard sometimes. But I know when I feel like I am crumbling, there is usually a hand lifting me up to remind me that i can make it through this. Yoga saves my life every day. I just haven't been going this week. Why is it we turn from the very thing we need the most when times get tough. Like God, or religion, or friends. I am not sure how Mondays weigh in will go down. I am going to be as active as I can because I can't stop crying right now. They aren't all sad tears... some are just tears that reflect our world. I feel it deep.

Not having muich success with the weight loss

Like my title suggests, I haven't been having much success with the weight loss. I still feel like a winner though, because I haven't been as hard on myself as I usually am, when I set my intention for self love. I am not trying to be easy on myself, it is just a bit of a different experience. I am going to try to make some things happen this week, with healthy eating. I ate junk on Sunday and I haven't been going to classes. I ate like a darn starved person on a girls night and super indulged, but it was tasty. I think it set me on a little tailspin the following day though. I was tired, a little lonely, and avoiding the rain. So, back to healthy eating, walking, and yoga on Wed, Thursday, Friday, hopefully. I have NO idea what Monday will bring. I haven't been in competitive spirit and maybe that is what I need to get out of this slump. I think it is hard not dating, not feeling attractive, whatever, to do this for myself. But I am worth it.

Afraid to weigh

As mentioned above, I am afraid to get on the scale. I am just not feeling like writing myself a love letter, haha. I have noticed a negative reaction to committing to a weight challenge... i am moving less and eating more. I don't know why i do this to myself... its like if i trick myself, I am successful. But conscious effort is scary, assertive, and real. Last week I craved hearty lunches and I satisfied my cravings. That wouldn't be much of an issue, but my activity level was down. I probably only walked a mile or so a day and I had a yoga class or two where my energy level was so low, i just lugged my way through it. Yesterdays class was maybe the worst i have had since I restarted yoga. Yoga is teaching me something... when i am conscious of what I am eating and eating very little (not restricting, just what would be normal portions) I have a lightness in my body and can float. That feeling is amazing. I tend to be soooo cheap and soooo quick about my meal choices that it is at the cost of heavier foods... very appropriate portions, but just over-processed foods. I am going to watch the video annie posted to really wrap my head around what I am doing to my body when i am so lazy or uncentered about what i put in it. Today I loaded a salad at Steve's pizza... the best of both worlds.... TONS OF VEGGIES and 3.78$ yippee!!!!